Writing For Me

 Now, this is not something I thought would ever be an issue, but it did come up for me when I was writing “Leo” in the fall of 2022. It no longer felt like I was writing for me, and that was an experience I want to share with all of you. 

The reason that I disliked writing the end of “Leo” (and “dislike” is a strong word, since I still love that project and what I was able to create with it) was because I was writing about something that didn’t really appeal to me and was not currently happening in my life: marriage and having children. With other novels I’d written in the past, and am currently writing, the characters are around the same age as me, and experiencing the same conflicts: struggling with university, falling out in friendships, break ups, etc. Having a colicky baby is not something I’m dealing with, and so it wasn’t as interesting to write about. 

Now, another thing about “Leo” is that it’s book four in The Cora Anthology, and I felt obligated to my audience to finish it. I wanted that section of the series to be done, even though I really didn’t want to write the book towards the end of it. This is a perfect example of writing without motivation, because to me, the novel “had” to be written, even if I wasn’t the most thrilled about it. 

At the time of writing “Leo”, I had crazy notions of how many books I was going to publish over the next couple years, and although I no longer want to publish five books a year for the next five years, thinking that way for a while altered how I felt while writing. It took the joy out of the creative process, because that book was just another cog in my production machine. I stopped enjoying writing because I was focusing more on production, rather than just writing something that brought me joy. 

Since I’ve come back to the keyboard this year, however, my attitude on this has changed. As a matter of fact, at the time of writing this, I just shelved a project because it wasn’t speaking to me in the way I needed, and I didn’t want to force myself to write it. I know I’m going to come back to it, but right now is not the time for me to work on it, and I’m okay with that. Right now, I’m focusing on working on projects that excite me, because to me, there’s no point working on projects I don’t want to write. My loyal readers will still be there, even if they have to wait a bit longer to get the next book, and I would rather sell you all something that I also love. 

Also, as an independent author, I’m in the unique position that I get to make all of the decisions around my writing (i.e. what I’m working on, when it gets done, the marketing around it, etc.) and I want to take advantage of that independence as much as I can. Sure, it’s a lot more work for me, but it means that I’m in control of everything, and I get to write what I want, when I want. And right now, that’s one of the most important parts of writing for me. 

That's all for now, folks!

-C